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Writer's Block: Deal or No Deal

What's on your list of dealbreakers when it comes to romantic relationships?

First of all, the obvious ones:
1. Cheating.
2. Abusive in any way.
3. Bigotry.
4. Bad personal hygiene.
5. Drug user/alcoholic.

And the rest, in no particular order...
6. Being a conservative right-wing Republican.
7. Being ultra-religious.
8. Uni-brow.
9. Chews tobacco.
10. Must like hockey.
11. Cannot be a Red Wings fan.
12. Or a Flyers fan.
13. Or ever refer to the Penguins as "the powder blue pansies".
14. Guys who have never read a book for fun.
15. Or haven't read a book since high school.
16. Not shaving the back of their neck.
17. Emo-ness.
18. Poetry writers.
19. Cryers.
20. Talking too much.
21. Having a comb-over.
22. Greasy hair.
23. Chewing with their mouth open.
24. Having no manners.
25. Picking their nose while driving.
26. Having one of those decals in the back window of Calvin peeing on the number of their least favorite NASCAR driver.
27. Dog haters.
28. Deer hunters.
29. Having a "Gas, Grass or Ass" bumper sticker.
30. Not putting the toilet seat down or flushing.
31. Unable to do laundry.
32. Drama king.
32. Dirty fingernails.
33. Picking their toes.
34. Thinking it's funny to put their armpit in your face.
35. Having a pair of those rubber balls (and by 'balls', I do mean balls) dangling from the hitch on the back of their truck/car.
36. Being a mama's boy.
37. Thinking pregnant women are FAT.
38. Having their cell phone glued to their ear at all times.
39. Constantly checking for text messages during a conversation.
40. Having '69' in any of their internet usernames (and not because they were born in 1969).
41. Buying an old school UHL Rockford Ice Hogs jersey with the name "Cockburn" on the back...cause it's har-har funny.
42. Being rude to servers.
43. Being a lousy tipper.
44. Swearing at customer service people.
45. Habitually wearing the cleanest shirt or pair of underwear they can find, instead of doing the laundry.
46. 'Borrowing' my money without permission.
47. Preferring to go 'au natural' instead of wearing deodorant.
48. Wearing too much cologne.
49. Lying. Even little white ones.
50. Being really, really into public displays of affection.
51. Thinking that because you're in a relationship, you have to spend all your free time with him.
52. And dump all your friends, cause they take away from that time.
53. Thinking it's necessary to announce to the world the exact reason they're going to the restroom.
54. Being a hypocrite.
55. Being indecisive.
56. Constantly pressuring me to go out with them.
57. Being bossy.
58. Telling me my decisions are stupid.
59. Tattoos in weird places.
60. Stupid tattoos. (Seriously, I know a guy who has the word 'tattoo' tattooed on his forehead. For realz.)
61. Piercings in weird places.
62. Be a gun collector.
63. Be a know-it-all. I don't care if he's smarter than me, but he can't be ~obnoxious~ about it.


( 3 chants — crowd chant! )
Mar. 5th, 2009 09:10 pm (UTC)
I actually agree with most of these. Looks like we'll both be old maids.

#53 is my favorite.
Mar. 5th, 2009 09:13 pm (UTC)
Inorite? It's like DUH. So gross.

Oh, well, my family will be needing a crazy, 'maiden' aunt in a few years anyway ;)
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 6th, 2009 02:14 am (UTC)
LOL, I am ~notoriously~ picky :)
( 3 chants — crowd chant! )

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